Thursday, August 30, 2007

My Goodbye

Dear Kimkins friends,

I am so sorry that the circumstances of my absence from the site have caused confusion and consternation. I have never meant to hurt anyone there in any way, and I am sorry. You have meant so much to me, and I treasure you, the wonderful relationships we had there, and the time we shared. It was so special to me --- the encouragement and support and just plain fun we often enjoyed. It is amazing how so many people, most of whom I haven't even met yet, could become so dear to me. Many of you know me better than some of my 'real life' friends do.

I loved cheering for your victories and being there in your time of need, and I truly appreciate, more than I know how to express, how you did the same for me. I know I would never have made it this far without you. Because of what we had there for a while, I not only lost the weight, I got my life back. I got hope back, when I had almost given up hope. I am healthy and strong and active again, and I wanted that for all of us. I still do. I tried to make a positive difference, in my own small way. I would have preferred for things to have turned out differently.

What led to my dawning awareness that it was time to go was more than irreconcilable differences of opinion, more than self-protective concern, and more than current controversy. What led to my regretful realization that I would have to leave is another story for another time. I assure you, though, that it has nothing at all to do with diminished affection for the members. The members of Kimkins made the site what it was, and made it better by far than it would have been otherwise. Many of you had a part in that, and I thank you for your input into my life.

I am not hiding, and I am not hard to find. I posted my email address on the site a few weeks ago, the first time my password quit working, in case I ever disappeared suddenly. If that cannot be found, I can always be reached here.

Be well, friends. You've touched my heart. Keep in touch.

35 comments:

Deborah said...

Dear Becky,
I know you are open to new and helpful info. I just wanted to share with you a diet site that I have frequented for over a year now that I will be returning to for my maintenance. My friends from this site jokingly refer to my current kimkins plan as the "sparten version" lol Anyhow the site is FREE and there are so many wonderful people that form the same loving community as you had found on kimkins without all the controversy. Please do yourself a favor and check it out. I know this site could immensley benefit from your wealth of information. I strongly encourage you to check it out. The writer of the book, Roger Troy, is a very spiritual man. All his proceeds from the book go to directly to charity. That is what struck me initially to check it out. The website is Letsdolunch.com. The premis is you eat your main protein meal at Lunch and can have as much of the allowed foods as needed thru-out the day. I would be happy to send you a copy of the book if I had your address so you could check it out. It is extremely healthy and there are numerous people who have lost a lot of weight without starving. God Bless
Debbie

KimPossible said...

We are not far away either! Lots of love to you Becky!

Doggygirl said...

I'm not a KK member nor a KK dieter (just a low carber). But I have been following the Kimmer story for several weeks. It is SO clear from posts I've read in many places that you are highly respected by the many people you have generously supported. I hope our low carb paths cross someplace healthy.

DG

CraigO said...

There you are! I was wondering.
We miss you. You were a special part of our experiences there. You were a caring and guiding voice in the wilderness. It won't be the same without you. Good luck in the future, wherever you land. Your hard work there and experienced postings still serve the folks there well, even if you are not there to add to it. It is a good legacy. Can't wait for more recipes, but it sounds like you need a break!

LowCarb4LIFE said...

Becky,

Your post is as like you.......straightforward and classy!

theTRUTH said...

Thanks for being who you are and telling the truth. Becky, you are a diamond in the rough, and I wish you well in these interesting times in which we all live. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story!

Jeannie said...

Becky,

I just found out!!! I dont know what is going on. All i know is that you are really missed and well respected and you are so sweet. i will look for the post that has your email cuz i really want to keep in touch.

jeannie (aka pinkiespassion)

ELAINE said...

Hi Becky -- we are all missing you enormously -- it is as if we have lost a part of ourselves. You are still on the keys of our computers as we tell others your advice and repeat your words. So sorry you are not with us -- you are an inspiration to all that are working hard to lose. keep us informed on here where we can find you.

Glad that Gideon is fine now.
Tashacat

Traci said...

You are truly missed and have been just great encouragement to all of us.

Traci

Kristi said...

Becky,

I sent you a Private Message at Kimkins about two-ish weeks ago. After hearing all that has gone on, now I am not sure you got it! I was telling you in the PM that I was quitting Kimkins and moving to Jimmy Moore's site called Livin' La vida Low Carb. It is a very friendly and informative place and everyone is welcome! I really appreciate the help you gave me at the beginning of my Kimkins experience and I wanted to say "thank you" again if you never got that PM!

Sincerely,
Kristi

Brook said...

Hi Becky,

I hope the "good bye" doesn't mean you're dropping this blog. Your clear, sometimes humorous and thoughtful way of communicating is a favorite of mine.

Scale Mistress said...

Becky-

I commend your bravery in doing what you feel is right. I made similar decisions a while back. So far Kimkins hasn't booted me from the site so I just went on to see what folks are saying. People are, of course, shocked at the news about you, Deni and Christin. People would love to know why you left.

Lisa

Sue said...

Becky,
As of September 3 - Kimmer posted:
"Becky is not banned and can check in or post any time she wishes."

If you could post - I'm sure you would. Are you able to confirm if that is the case?

Kristy said...

Hi Becky,

I think that a lot of people at KK are sad you are gone, however it was your right to do so and I respect your decision. Goodluck with the next step in your life.

All the best and much love, Kristy

Becky said...

Debbie - Thanks for the tip! I scoped out the site, and bookmarked it to revisit. I am always very interested in learning something new.

Becky said...

Kim - No matter what your user name (or disguise), your personality shines sparkles! You have been a faithful person through it all.

Becky said...

Hello, DG. Your comments are very uplifting! It was thoughtful of you to offer some some encouragement to someone you don't even know. I hope hear from you again.

Becky said...

Hey, Craig! It's nice hearing from you here!

Yes, I took a break, but I will be back to myself here real soon.

Becky said...

lowcarb4life - Thank you.

Saying goodbye is hard, and done with tears.

I hope to keep in touch with many precious folks.

Becky said...

theTRUTH - Interesting indeed!

I am honored by your trust.

Becky said...

Hi, Jeannie! I want to keep in touch, too. Feel free to email me.

Becky said...

Hi, Elaine - Your words are so eloquent. How very kind of you!

I can be found here, or at my email address (do you need it?) or at Jimmy Moore's forum: http://www.lowcarbdiscussion.com/

Becky said...

Traci - Thank you.

I miss all the encouragement I found on the site, as well. Wherever we are on our journey, we all get a boost from others who acknowledge our accomplishments and sympathize in our struggles.

Best wishes for your healthy and happiness!

Becky said...

Kristi - Thanks for the invitation! I am making that my online home for now. So far, so good!

For a while, I was getting PMs emailed to me, but had no way to respond. I have not gotten any messages lately, though, so I am glad you followed up.

I'll see you over there!

Becky said...

Brook - Wow, that's sweet!

I lapsed for a while, but I'm back it it now, and will be blogging about my usual topics soon.

Becky said...

Lisa - Why I stayed and why I left is a long and involved story, and I may never tell it all publicly.

I certainly will not tell it for the entertainment or idle curiosity of bystanders. I will tell some of it for the sake of the past and present (and possible future) members

I will say a few things in the next day or so, but for now, I will say this:

I stayed because of the members.
I left because of the leader.

I did not leave because of pressure or fear or random doubts placed in my mind by the blogs or forum posts of strangers.

I left because the words and actions of the individual in question left me no doubt and no choice. I could in no way aid and abet that situation.

Others who were witness to the same things reached the same conclusions.

I think that speaks volumes.

Becky said...

Sue - I have not been told that I am banned. As far as I know, my account still exists.

However, my username and password no longer work.

This is not the first or second time this has happened to me. Each time previously, I was told it was a technical glitch.
Interestingly, each time occurred after a serious blow-up, and lasted until a strong protest.

More than a few friends of mine have encountered similar situations --- two just very recently.

Becky said...

Kristy - I am sad, too, and wish things were not like this. I do miss everyone. and want the best for all of us.

Thanks for the good wishes, and my best to you as well!

Terry said...

Becky,

You are very missed! I understand you felt you needed to leave. I noticed in your comments that you may never tell the whole story. You are certainly entitled to your privacy and I don't wish to pry, I just hope if there is anything members of Kimkins should be aware of you would let us know. I hate that you, Deni and Christin have left but I will continue to follow yuor journeys through your blogs. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with others.

2BIG said...

Just wanted to wish you well. I've heard a lot of good things about you from others who used to use that site.

I understand the emotions you are feeling right now having walked away from a other forum when God led me to leave after making many friends and posting a heck of a lot of support and info It was hard and I still miss many of the folk who didn't walk away and know you too are missing many.
I will keep you in my prayers.

Anita said...

Dearest Becky,
I want to thank you for your help and your inspiration during your stay on KK. You are one of the main reasons I kept on coming back to the site, and your successes were the motivation I needed when I felt like this journey would be insurmountable. I've since found challenge forums filled with wonderful, supportive and caring women who face the same challenges I do, but I want you to know that you will be sorely missed, and that you are in our hearts and prayers. Good luck on your new adventure, and I'm sure many of us will be following your journey even as we continue our KK way of eating. Thank you for all you've done and all you are bound to do.
Anita

Becky said...

Terry, your comments are very thoughtful and gentle. Thank you.

I feel like I did share much of myself with the members there, openly and honestly, and received much the same transparency in return.

Actually, that is part of what makes it difficult to know what to say now, and how, and when. My natural style of communication is to be tactful, but candid. This last while, I have learned to be guarded, not knowing whom to trust, but knowing my opinion will not welcome in many places, and may very well be used to harm me and others. It would be far easier to either remain silent, or to pour it all out in a jumble, than to sift through all this maelstrom of thoughts and feelings to choose what has any validity that is worth sharing. Whatever I do share is with reluctance, and, frankly, with fear. Nevertheless, I feel I must help others who are entitled to some answers.

I have intended to speak when I felt like I could get my bearings and figure out how to proceed. I will post a statement shortly. After that, I will do my best to answer the fair and reasonable questions that involved members put to me, if I can do it in a way that does not compromise any innocent persons. I will answer truthfully, or decline to answer if I must, but I will not lie.

Becky said...

2big - Thank you for your empathy and your prayers. I certainly feel the need.

Becky said...

Anita - Thank you for the good wishes and prayers.

I agree that there are so many wonderful, supportive, and caring people there. I met many people whose friendships I treasure. I hope you will stop back by and let me know how it's going.

sparky said...

Becky,

I'm a kimkins member who has been looking into the controversy. That's how I stumbled onto your blog. I read the last page and just have to say - you are obviously intelligent, very well-spoken and extremely personable. I have read your posts as well since I started on kimkins in June. The first thing that sprung to mind when I read this blog is "why is someone as great as you stuck in a job you hate at Walmart?" You are awesome, Becky, and can do anything! Maybe you don't realize how great you are, but I hope that this kimkins thing becomes a blessing in disguise and is a catalyst for you to find happiness and a career you can actually enjoy that will help you out financially.

Take care and thank you for all your wisdom on the site

Joni