Well, lately my life has been . . . interesting.
I will probably want to talk about it someday.
Perhaps even someday soon.
But not today.
Today I just want to say that I and all my family are well and fine.
In fact, I feel more peaceful and content than I have felt in a long time.
I have so very much missed being online, and missed my many dear online friends, more than words can say. Being absent has felt at times empty and lonely. Though I have a loving family around me, you, my online friends, have become important to me, too. I hope to reconnect with many of you.
I had reasons for my absence, interesting reasons. I'm still processing information and sorting through all my thoughts and feelings in my own slow, methodical way. I am generally a careful and cautious person, gathering my own evidence and coming to my own conclusions.
Interestingly, Wikipedia has this further to say about the referenced proverb:
It is reported that it was the first of three curses of increasing severity, the other two being:
May you come to the attention of those in authority
May you find what you are looking for
Here's hoping for a less interesting life!
57 comments:
Lots of love your way Becky, lots of love!
Same goes for you, friend!
Remember, my door is always open to you. Maybe I'll pass your way on my next visit through my old home state.
Becky, you will definitely be missed.
What a shame you left without leaving a message. Kimkin members are under the impression that you can log in anytime to leave a message - but choose not to. I don't know if this is true.
many good wishes and thoughts for you, sweetie...wherever your journey next takes you.
and whatever has happened...no matter how many things may be uncertain...please know and truly believe that you are loved and cared for by many *BIG'OLE HUG*
Becky....wishing you nothing but the best. You are missed.
Becky - Many HUGS to you... Sending all good wishes your way! You have many friends out there and much support!
Laurie
Hi Becky :-) I'm from Kimkins and have always so enjoyed your postings. You'll never know what a help you were to me as a newbie there. I will miss you so much. But I'm out of that diet now as I had problems with it, and I'm happy to see you have a blog. You can bet I'll be reading here often and thinking of you. I hope your grandbaby is well, I have prayed for him. Big hugs from a friend & admirer you didn't know you had.
Hi Becky,
I'm So glad to see you've headed out on your own. You have written so many wonderful posts for Kimkmins, that I'm wondering if perhaps you can copy/paste some of them here as well. Also, I know you had been wondering about the low-fat aspects of K/E and K/K, and I was wondering if you had come to any conclusions that you'd be willing to share.
Take Care, Diana
Hi Becky,
Glad to see you, Much love from us!
Lee And Deb
Becky I am so glad to see you moving forward. I have always had nothing but the utmost respect for you and look forward to reading your blog!
Wow, lots of comments today! Thank you. I don't know what to say.
Larry, I will start with your comment. As you requested, I read and then deleted your post. Thank you for the kind invitation.
I won't be posting on any forum for a little while, but I surely do miss the camaraderie, and I hope to regain the sense of community I once enjoyed.
Becky,
you have the courage that many admire.
best of luck to you.
Becky, I am so glad to see that you are still around. In all of my years spent attmepting to lose weight, your words are the ones that helped me make the connection. So much of your advice has stayed with me and has kept me on track. I hope that your new path leads you to nothing but the very best in life. You truly deserve it! Don't be a stranger, OK?
Becky, I probably enjoyed your posts most of all. You always had something interesting to say and I knew you had put a lot of thought into what you posted. You will be greatly missed by us all.
Susan
Sue - Thank you.
I do agree it is a shame things happened the way they did. It was never my intention to leave without goodbyes, and I certainly did not ever want to hurt anyone. The members of Kimkins mean a great deal to me, and I miss them.
If I could say goodbye there, I would.
Instead, I will say it here:
Dear Kimkins friends, past and present,
I am so sorry that the circumstances of my absence from the site have caused confusion and consternation. I have never meant to hurt anyone there in any way, and I am sorry. You have meant so much to me, and I treasure you, the wonderful relationships we had there, and the time we shared. It was so special to me --- the encouragement and support and just plain fun we often enjoyed. It is amazing how so many people, most of whom I haven't even met yet, could become so dear to me. Many of you know me better than some of my 'real life' friends do.
I loved cheering for your victories and being there in your time of need, and I truly appreciate, more than I know how to express, how you did the same for me. I know I would never have made it this far without you. Because of what we had there for a while, I not only lost the weight, I got my life back. I got hope back, when I had almost given up hope. I am healthy and strong and active again, and I wanted that for all of us. I still do. I tried to make a positive difference, in my own small way. I would have preferred for things to have turned out differently.
What led to my dawning awareness that it was time to go was more than an irreconcilable difference of opinions, more than self-protective concerns, and more than current controversies. What led to my regretful realization that I would have to leave is another story for another time. I assure you, though, that it has nothing at all to do with diminished affection for the members. The members of Kimkins made the site what it was, and made it better by far than it would have been otherwise. Many of you had a part in that, and I thank you for your input into my life.
I am not hiding, and I am not hard to find. I posted my email address on the site a few weeks ago, the first time my password quit working, in case I ever disappeared suddenly. If that cannot be found, I can always be reached here.
Be well, friends. You've touched my heart. Keep in touch.
Cutie - I have never doubted your love and care for me, personally, even when I knew you felt I had lost my way.
I sure can use that hug, though!
Vickie - It means a lot to hear that. Thank you. I miss your smiling face, too!
You have been someone I have been drawn to and fond of since I first 'met' you online, and noticed you live in a beautiful place I am sometimes homesick for. Two of my grown children still live there, so maybe we can meet some day.
Hi, Laurie! We go back a ways, don't we? It is good to hear from you again.
I know I am blessed with many friends, and it is a comfort. I feel like I can use all the good wishes and support I can get right now!
Stephanie - I am sorry you had problems, and I hope you are better now. Thanks for stopping by my blog with kind words, and I hope you do come here often to let me know how you are doing.
My grandson Gideon is doing well, thank God, and I so appreciate all the prayers! He is growing fast, and, of course, just the sweetest thing you ever saw (like all grandbabies, I guess).
I wonder, would it be tacky to shamelessly post baby pictures on a weight loss blog?
Hi, Diana!
(Is this 'thankful' Diana of the sea, member of the PSS? If so, please email me if you still have my address. I would love to catch up on your life.)
Anyway, I can't say I feel exactly glad right now, and I sincerely hope I'm not on my own here, but I do think I did what I had to do. *sigh*
Unfortunately, I don't have access to copy old posts, unless it happens to be something I had saved first, for some reason. Maybe someone else can do that for us, if I know what you are looking for. I assume that is permissible if it is something I wrote, but I am unclear on the ethics of that sort of thing.
Share conclusions? Man, I'm about to be stepping on landmines right and left here!
I only have my own experience to share, and you may recall some of this. I am a long-time Atkins person, from way back in 1972. Lost my weight after my first baby that way, and kept myself within bounds that way for years. With eleven pregnancies and eight deliveries, my weight would blimp up with each baby, and come back down with by-the-book Atkins afterwards, before I would eventually revert to sloppy semi-low-carb, punctuated by occasional wild indiscretions. A few years ago, with all the babies, stress, thyroid problems, adrenal problems, a lengthy critical illness, steroids, months of bedrest, menopause, etc., etc., I reached my highest weight and could not lose anymore. Atkins as I was doing it just wasn't cutting it for me. I was 5'1", 222 lbs., over 50% body fat (loss of muscle mass due to bed rest), a virtual invalid, depressed, despairing, and defeated. I had just about resigned myself to an early death, like my grandma who had died at age 54, 680 lbs. (I turned 53 last week.) In truth, to my shame, I had almost reached the point where that didn't really sound half bad anymore.
Then I found Kimkins, and started losing weight again and feeling better in every way than I had in a long. long time. I could take a shower and get dressed without needing to rest in between. I could spend more of my day sitting up, and even walking around the house. I could sit down and breathe at the same time without rolling my elastic waistband down under my belly. I could climb a flight of stairs again. To me, it was a new lease on life.
I did not do K/E for the initial 3-5 days as recommended. It never did sit well with me, personally, since I like veggies, and value their nutritional punch. Lots of powerful vitamins, minerals, fiber, and all kinds of yummy goodness for minimal carbs and calories. Along with whole eggs, low-carb veggies are the best bargain going. I did much later try K/E here and there, but I don't think I did it more than 3 days before I just didn't like it. It didn't feel right to me. Others have done it with ease and success, so I don't know what to say about that, but it wasn't for me.
So, I did Kimkins, as I saw it, as a life-long Atkins girl. It still wasn't fast for me, but it was 4 times faster than Atkins had become for me. I wanted to see results, because I knew I did not have it in me to last, physically or emotionally, for the time it would take me to lose, otherwise. I felt good in every way, and improved on every test my doctors gave me.
The only time I did not feel good, especially emotionally, was a short span when I did let my calories and fats get too low for my own good. I was working long hours and late shifts at the store, coming home too tired to care about eating, missing meals, eating too many quickie low-fat foods like whey shakes and egg whites. My weight loss slowed down and I became grim and depressed again. Cause and effect? Hard to prove from anecdotal evidence. But, I said, "Forget this! If I'm gonna lose slowly anyway, I'm gonna eat!" I felt instinctively like my brain needed essential fatty acids, and I was on the edge of trouble. (I did get scolded for talking about this on the forum.)
Personally, I needed something more like Kimkins than Atkins to get me losing, and I was thankful for it. I cannot handle nearly the same amount of calories some people can, plain and simple. However, other than that brief, work-related interval, I did not do and was not comfortable with Kimkins/KE as it became practiced by many.
As has been said elsewhere, I did not see eye-to-eye on everything. I have been told I have an incompatible view of Kimkins than just does not mesh. So be it.
I lost slower than many there, but I am within arm's reach of goal, I'm well and strong, I've added lean muscle mass, and my doctor is pleased with all my exams and lab results.
So, that's more than you wanted to hear, and enough to give everyone something to find fault with, if they are so inclined. But, it was the path I walked, and it worked well for me.
(Gosh, I can tell I've been quiet too long! I must have stored up a lot of words, just waiting to come out! Sorry!)
Hey, Lee! So glad to hear from you again! I have sure missed talking to you! I hope you are safe from all the crazy weather up your way.
I found a few pics of when Donnie and I met up with you and Deb. Good memories! I'll email them to you tomorrow.
Hi, Autumn. Thank you for your encouragement.
Tell me, are you someone I exchanged a couple of lengthy messages with a while back?
If so, you are a most gracious person. I appreciate your trust.
Christine - Courage? It doesn't feel that way. It feels scary. I sure do miss my comfort zone!
Thank you for the good wishes!
Oh, Lisa! Your words really touched me. I cannot tell you how much it means to me, to hear you say that. You have done so amazingly well under difficult circumstances and challenges, and if I was a small part of that, I am honored.
I'll stick around, so no stranger here!
Susan -You are very sweet. Thank you for those good thoughts!
Best wishes, and I hope to hear from you again.
Dear Becky,
Although we did not know each other long I just wanted to say you are defineately missed by me on the boards. It was so interesting to read your story about your kimkins journey and your family history of weight problems. You have been an inspiration to me and I agree with you totally when you say kimkins K/E was too extreme to follow. I have lost 23 lbs on regular kimkins but havent been so-called legal. I am not in any hurry to lose the weight and am extremely happy with my new size 14 and if it takes me longer than 3 months to get to goal I have all the time in the world. I admire you so much for not compromising your morals and for speaking your mind. I look forward to coming to your blog and benefiting from your dieting expertise and future words of wisdom. You are a wonderful, sensitive, intelligent woman whom I have nothing but respect for. I feel blessed to have met you in the virtual world we live in.
Love and God Bless
Debbie aka DEBBIEWEBE
Hi Becky,
Thanks for your well-considered response (as always). Yes, I am the sailing Diana of the "Giving Thanks" and PSS threads. I believe I do still have your e-mail address, and I'd love to catch up at some point.
I will keep in touch. Diana
Becky, yes, I am the Autumn you had the lengthy exchanges with recently. Thank you for the compliment!
As far as I am concerned, you WERE the KK site, the heart, soul and conscience of it. Your organization of the information into stickies was invaluable, as was your wise and cheerful presence.
I am glad you are no longer there, and wish you all the best!
Hi Becky,
I'm new to Kimkins (08/13/2007 started) and have poured over your posts day after day. I honestly don't even know how I end up on your blog, I was just clicking and clicking and clicking. (I started on the Kimkins site through a linked blog page to comment on a blog there, to the Kimkins controversy and there is a posting there titled Update on Lilbit) whew. ANYWAY. I'm very sorry to hear you are no longer with the Kimkins site. It is a little scary to me that someone I respected and relied on won't be "there". I have my own personal blog regarding my Kimkins journey and I am going to put a link to your blog on it, I hope that is OK. Best wishes to you and your family Becky. I'm glad I did find your blog!
Janice
Hi Becky,
As others have said you were always such a huge help at kimkins. I'm disappointed (but not surprised) to read that you were "scolded" for talking about going too low in fat. I remember when you started posting about that and I thank you so much for doing so. That was the first time I ever saw a moderator/expert post about increasing fats. Everything before that was "if you have XX pounds to lose then you have XXXXX fat to live off of." Your concerns about your fats rang true for me and started me thinking about how healthy it was for me to be cutting everything to the bone. So I thank you for your honesty, both then and now. I wish you all the best and will be checking out your blog regularly. I had no idea you had such great recipes! :)
Hi Becky,
Just stopping by to share my regards for you. What a journey, huh? Crazy ups and downs for sure! I am grateful for the role you played in the search for my real self. Your counsel on Kimkins was always scientifically based, wise, informed, and trustworthy. I still hold a high resepct for who you are and hope that our paths will cross again my friend. Take good care.
Lov,
Sher
Hi Becky,
I sent you a PM on the Kimkins board and now realize that you may have not received it. Just wanted to say "thank you" for all of your time. You are in inspiration to me. I am a slow looser and you were just about the only one on the boards who was not afraid to say "it is what it is and that is ok". I also hope that you continue your newsletter. I hung onto every word in the column about how to eat like a "normal" person with good, healthy eating habits. Again, I thank you for your time on the boards.
Hi Becky,
Been gone for a few days and just caught up on all the "STUFF".
Just want to add how much I have always enjoyed our chats. I know my philosophy has matched yours, but never thought I was being critiqued about it. I am so thrilled that the entire Kimkins process has been successful for me.
Also a shout out to Diana J. I knew I was missing you and tried to keep up the Giving Thanks thread.
How can we all stay more in touch?
Good bye Becky, thank you for all of you encouragement to me and everyone else. I so hate it when someone posts negative comments about anything, or tries to stir up a fight, that is not what I came here for, and I have seen alot of that, I hope they get a handle on it. Again, thank you for everything.
Sue/Swalt
Becky, your posts and stickies at Kimkins were the reason I stuck around and did the plan. I don't agree with the super low-calorie and low-fat dogma over there and have tweaked the plan according to my own needs. I also don't like the dependence so many folks have on the protein powders and shakes, which are ultimately meant for bodybuilders, not for dieters. I just can't see that that stuff is healthy in the long run.
But, like you, I found the plan was the best jump-start to losing that I had come across in a long time.
I think you should start your own website with the "Becky Diet" - I will be the first to sign on!
Take care of yourself, and I will bookmark your blog and continue checking in.
lemon zest
Becky,
Had it not been for you, I would never have lost over 100 lbs! YOU were my guiding force, and I will always have you in my heart.
I would love to have the pleasure of meeting such a classy lady....maybe my next trip to Texas?
Becky I always got a lot of good information from your posts and helpful instructions on how to do things when I joined, and am sorry you left. I am sure you have good reasons, so will leave it at that. I'll check back to keep in touch from time to time- take care of yourself and your family!
Becky, you answered my questions a few times on the forum in thorough details and I just felt the power of your kindness, even over the Internet. I am sorry that you had to be challenged, but I hope you will find solace in your supporters here.
Debbie - Thank you for your encouragement. It means a lot!
I think it is sensible not to be in a big hurry. I know (believe me, I know!) that losing too slowly can be so discouraging that we are tempted just to give up. But, losing quickly at any cost is not necessarily better.
I have always maintained we each have to find our own 'sweet spot' where we feel well and strong, and are satisfied with both our eating and our losses. In my opinion, the exact balance point won't be the same for everyone, but if we want a lovely life, not just a certain number on the scale, then the journey matters as much as the destination does. Life is meant to be lived every day, not just 'someday' when we are slender.
You mentioned my health history, and it reminded me of a story about my dear Grandma. She was just the most wonderful person, sweet and warm and full of fun. Her weight was always a challenge, and somewhere it got out of control. She ate little enough, and snacked on celery sticks and sour pickles, when my Southern kin were having chicken and dumplings and peach cobbler. Yet, she gained. The doctors decided she was lying about her diet, and decided to hospitalize her for a medically-supervised fast, to prove that if she would just follow their advice and 'push away from the table', she wouldn't be so heavy. So, she went two weeks in the hospital, with IV fluids and nothing by mouth except a cup of Sanka every morning.
Guess what? She gained 10 lbs! The doctors could not admit they were wrong, so they accused my family of sneaking food in to her somehow. My relatives didn't know whether to cuss, cry, or kick somebody!
And in her IV? Turned out it was 600 calories a day of --- sugar water!
When I first read the Atkins book back in 1972, the light bulb came on for me about that experience.
Anyway, I'm rambling! Thanks for listening.
Diana - I sent you an email.
Autumn - I hope we can stay in touch.
Janice - Feel free to link to my blog, if you like. I'm going to try to keep it up just about every day now, plus go back to my newsletter again.
It's kind of scary to me, too, not to be at Kimkins anymore. I think I will be hanging out here for now: http://www.lowcarbdiscussion.com/
Julie - Your comment really blessed me! In fact, it just about made me cry.
I did try to stay (and I probably stayed too long) to be a voice of moderation and balance, and I am glad you found some of it helpful.
(Speaking of fats and recipes, I will be posting a couple of super quick and easy dip/spread recipes in a couple of days. Yummy!)
Hi, Sher! You are too generous in your assessment, though I do thank you for your kind heart.
I like the way you put that -'search for my real self'. That is how I feel, too!
The inner journey has been at least as important to me as the physical changes. In fact, if we don't cover that distance, nothing else will last anyway.
To me, integrity means being one, whole, the same inside, outside, and all the way through.
Just about anyone who works at it hard enough long enough can somehow pull together the externals - at least for a while. But, what is inside always reveals itself sooner or later.
That is a good lesson for everyone to remember.
Getting Better - Your comments were also so moving to me! I am honored. I really did try to be there for those like you and me.
I will be starting the newsletter up again. In fact, I'm planning to email one out sometime Thursday.
PS - Thanks for tracking me down here! I cannot log onto the site anymore to answer PMs.
Hi,LadyBug! Yes, you added the flax seeds and things like that, and we had good discussions about the importance of EFAs. And, you still ROCKED on weight loss! Good for you!
As for keeping in touch, I'll be here just about daily, and also ventured out to post my intro on Jimmy Moore's forum tonight.
I have thought about something someone suggested, that I turn on 'moderate comments' so people could leave secret messages, and I could gather email addresses to act as a clearinghouse. It just seems complicated, and well, secretive. I have had enough of that.
I've thought about just posting my email address here. Maybe I will. I'll think about it.
LadyBug - Quite a few folks have asked me and the others to start a forum, but I am not up to it. I did see lots of Kimkins folks at Jimmy's forum, though.
Sue, I am a peace-loving soul, and do not like trouble either. I will stand up and be counted when I need to be, but I won't go out of my way to make life harder for anyone if I can help it.
Sometimes it is hard to know where to draw that line, though, I must admit.
Anyway, you have done a good job of taking care of yourself and losing weight! Nothing external can take that away from you. Nobody else made it happen for you, and no one can unmake it for you, either. You have got it going on.
Lemon Zest - I think just about all of us have to 'tweak' whatever plan we follow to make it suit ourselves, for our nutrition and our lifestyles. For instance, I do like the protein powders, mainly because I don't much like breakfast, but I believe in its value, so that is a good compromise for me. But, I think you are right that they are not complete in and of themselves.
The "Becky Diet"? No way! Not ever. I would not welcome the headaches. Heck, I can hardly agree with myself half the time, let alone decide what is best for everyone else. I just don't know enough or have the qualifications.
I can say what works for me for now. I am happy to encourage people to take the steps to lose weight for themselves, and to work through the process, and to keep on going until they get there and stay there.
Please do check back in here. I hope to get back to the original purpose of this blog real soon, which is losing weight while gaining a rich, full, wonderful life.
Lynne - I would be more than thrilled to get together with you! Please, if you come anywhere near here, let me know.
I think the world of you, too, and I do not forget how you sought me out and stood by me when I was down.
It makes all the difference in the world, to share the journey with a friend.
Martha - Thank you for your kind words and understanding. I will be here, so I hope to keep in touch.
JT - Thank you! Yes, the support of so many good folks has been a very real solace to me. I do not take that lightly.
(I deleted a post that looked like spam in a foreign language. If it was an actual comment, try again.)
Becky, are you still posting on Jimmy Moore's blog. I haven't seen you there.
I want to keep up with my prior Kimkins and would like to know where they are hanging.
Let me know. Thanks, LadyBug9.
Hi Becky,
I must say I'm a little slow on the uptake :D I had no idea that there was trouble in the world of Kimmer!! I have been looking for you, Christin, and others. Believe me, your abscence is conspicuous. I am glad I found you. Mainly, I wanted to thank you for all of your help and inspiration. So many of your responses and explanations kept me on track. Thank you for everything you have done for me and you have my best wishes in all you do.
Cynthia/Indy48
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